She was a bit more "with it" yesterday. After dozing most of the evening, she rallied to take her medication. I've been trying to get her cleaned up ever since we got back from the hospital but it hasn't worked out because of her vertigo, nausea and dizziness. She knew I've wanted to get her in the shower so she announced she was ready to do it. Casey was with me, and he helped get her in the wheelchair. I had stripped off shoes and socks and a shirt (she saw me do this), knowing I was going to get splashed. We had a new shower put in, with tile, a bench, and shower head that is a hand wand. I turned the shower on to get it warm before we put her in. Casey was rolling her toward the bathroom, and she couldn't see me. She heard the shower go on, and put her arms up across her face, closing her eyes and yelled out, "no, I don't want to see him peeing". Oh my gosh, Casey and I laughed out loud.
I did get her in, and got her rinsed off. Got most of the hair gel out from her surgery. We have decided not to shave the rest of her hair off for the moment - she wears a cap she purchased and she looks pretty cute with what hair she has peeking out.
She didn't like seeing the hospital bed in our bedroom - had a strong, visceral, negative response. I explained that we needed to keep her head and chest elevated and showed her where I was and tried to reassure her. She didn't protest long. I think she hears words ("hospice") and sees things (the hospital bed) that let her know these are end of days signals and even though she knows it intellectually (although forgets due to cognitive impairment), reacts viscerally.
She talks out loud in her sleep now - and it's pretty funny (that is, if you aren't trying to sleep) to hear the snippets of conversation. She had a difficult time when she woke up - lots of coughing which can generate some throwing up. Compounded with the vertigo. I got some medical cannabis in her, to try to ease that, since her nausea medications aren't due until 8am. Her eyes are much more noticeably not tracking together. She is more delirious this morning - I don't think from the side effects of the cannabis. She continues to have the twitching and spasms which are indicative of brain cancer activity - a condition called myoclonus. She is already on the best drug available to moderate the symptoms - her anti-seizure medication.
We have a new caregiver today - the agency is trying to piece together a permanent rotation - from 8am to 6pm. The assigned nurse coordinator from hospice is here at 2pm.
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