Meagan has been pretty nauseous today as a result of her cancer and its added impact on her eyes. She has double vision, which could be from the optic nerve being pressed, but also her eyes aren't tracking together. So every time she moves it's very disorienting and vertigo inducing. Imagine how stressful it would have been for her to try to go to a treatment. We've given her two rounds of medical cannabis and that seems to help, although makes her sleepy. So been a quiet day for her. She was much more lucid today - knew who everyone was around her and was engaging and could track conversations, although her voice is a very quiet whisper.
We were able to have a conversation this morning about declining further treatment and why, her prognosis and our goals, and timing (I told her we didn't know how long she would last but we would focus on each day one at a time). As before, she is sad, not scared. Very few tears, I would surmise because she is weary of the fight, knows it is at an end, and is ready for the conclusion. Wanted to know if boys knew (yes). And then she promptly forgot the conversation and moved on.
Lots of administrative hubub today - the hospital bed arrived (needed so she can sleep at an incline - her chest is quite congested). Arranged a caregiver aide for coverage seven days a week from 8am to 6pm. Arranged hospice. Had a visit with hospice transition nurse. Hope to get the medications nailed tomorrow. Got a baby monitor so when I am up and in the family room I can hear her rousing in the bedroom or trying to call me.
Last night I got about three hours sleep. I am hoping to improve on that tonight with her in the separate hospital bed.
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