Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Meagan's Latest Update - The Day Before Spine Radiation Starts

Dear All,

I hope you are each finding just what you need to remind each of us what makes the oncoming of autumn so special. I love this time of year...even as we move a little later into the season...the crispness of morning contrasted to the warming day. I remember how Nick and I would get so tired of the southern california sky, blue sky, blue sky...not a cloud, or interesting variation in the horizon to contemplate. Needless to say, we ( at least some of us~smile~) are anticipating the progression of autumn like an old friend.

Life continues to be an adventure in the health dept. It has not been easy. Melanoma continues to remind me that my last day, or days, is just around the corner and with the help of Nick and the boys somehow there are enough days that I feel really pretty good. Physically I continue to feel great! Lots of energy, humor that seems not to let me down as often as I would expect, dear friends who keep their eyes on me so I don't get run down by that car I insist on passing in order to enjoy a stroll through the arboretum. Emotionally, this last week and a half has turned into a crap shoot. And the hardest of my life. In the span of one week, I was told I had incurable melanoma which had traveled to my spine, this was one day before I was told that the status of my brain tumor actually looked really good. But the doc (who is wonderful by the way...I love them all!) who saw the scans last took another look with more info and saw a little more to be hopeful about so called for a 3rd Doc so now we are about to start a brand new treatment that spot zaps/radiated the cancer up and down the spine. I know it sounds like a daunting task, and it is. Our odds are not good but hopefully we can keep our spirits high enough, for long enough, that we can still hope for some lovely times ahead. No one here, or in Kaplan's office is willing to commit to an time frame...Take one day at a time and remember that all there is to be grateful for. If we can wring out some months, or more, well...I'll take it.

As is so often the case, I've learned, the hardest part of it all is dealing with the side effects of the meds. They make me loopy and there is not much I like less than not feeling "sharp". Hopefully, these side effects will ease with time.

Again, I want to thank you all sooooooooo much for your of All kinds, the runs for Specialty  Cookies, the tears shared with friends, and so many other meaningful facets contributed to my family's journey over the last many months I am brought to tears. Thank you, thank you, thank you. After today, I start 5 weeks of / 5 days per week of radiation treatment. It would be wonderful f0r me to generate the correspondence  to stay in steady touch with you all but I know this will be a larger charge than I can take on. Trust however that I will think of you all and keep you tucked away in my "Coat of Arms" (If you don't know about it ask someone who does...a place I look to to find you all and a sense of peace." Nick will be updating his blog regularly. Our little elves who seem to keep us fed in the face of all this stress manage somehow to humble us with their tenacity. A part of me aches when I think about how we've turned into such a "high maintenance" family when what we really want to do is give back. All I can manage instead is the deepest gratitude. The rest leaves me speechless.

So, I will send a note when I can but look more to the blog. I will not be responding to most email but will still be loving you all.
Please take the best care. Add a sprig of magenta and orange flowers you find in your garden, and we will meet again. ~smile~

Much Love,
Meagan Anne

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