I'm reading a short book with the title, "The Four Things That Matter Most", by Ira Byock, M.D.
The Four Things are words one should say, really at any time within our life, to anyone we care about:
Please forgive me
I forgive you
Thank you
I love you
There is a short passage in it that really struck me, so much so I thought I'd share it:
"What we can do, from this moment forward, is live life as authentically as possible. This means removing the mask we use to protect ourselves from the world, and from truly being seen by others. It means encountering others and the world with honesty, without pretense or ulterior motives. The psychological mask and emotional armor we wear to protect ourselves from hurt diminishes the integrity and intensity of our lives. When we are willing to allow others to see us as we are and when we trust our clear, good intentions and reflect them in our words and deeds, we are authentically ourselves. In so doing, we need never have regrets".
This is beautifully said and every word of it true, from my perspective. When calamity hits, we are presented with opportunities to choose who, in the face of such distress, we will be, how "present" we'll allow ourselves to be to the experience - all of it. I applaude your willingness to forget about playing it safe emotionally, to say what needs to be said, feel what needs to be felt instead of insulating. This is the demonstration of courage.
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