Dreading the day ahead...

I hope I am wrong. But I have a really bad feeling about today. Yesterday she was very unstable, the only time she walked on her own was yesterday morning as we entered the hospital to check in, and she got very unstable and had to sit down and from then on, for the rest of the day she was in a wheelchair. When we got home in the afternoon, she was able to walk from the car up to the living room with my assistance, but then her legs started spasming and gave out and I had to carry her to her chair in the family room. She spent the entire afternoon and evening there, napping, reading, eating and chatting (not needing to use the bathroom). When it was time for bed, she tried walking to the bathroom, but the same thing happened. I finally got her in bed, and she is sleeping soundly. But throughout the night, her legs have continued to spasm, although not as frequently as when she had weight on them.

So I am poised to call the on-call oncologist this morning (Kaplan is out of town). We will test her legs when she gets out of bed (with my assistance). If she has any difficulty, I'm calling. I don't know if it means a run to emergency, or just check in to the hospital. Or wait until Monday. What should happen is a scan of her spine. I suspect tumor involvement impacting her leg function. It would be consistent with the pain she is experiencing (which is now masked by the medication). It would also be consistent with her prior spinal tumors. Hard to believe it is medication related. Whether it is locally recurrent and can't be treated again (her spine from T-11 to L-4 had tomotherapy radiation) or in another section of the spine which can be treated is the question. There are only two treatments - chemotherapy and radiation. In any event, since the chemotherapy is already happening, radiation wouldn't start for a while and takes even longer to have an effect. So if it is cancer which is causing the instability and loss of leg function, it means she will be in a wheelchair for a while, if not forever. A dramatic and ugly turn of events. Emotionally and physically.

Thus my dread.