Sunday, September 18, 2011

Update from Meagan

Here is the latest update directly from Meagan. What is not evident is that this took her at least three hours to write, if not longer. That she is able to do it at all is a testament to her perseverance and desire to speak directly to her friends and family, despite the limitations she is under. I only made minor edits, at her request, and only ones of content.

Dear Friends and Family,

And another season continues to pass. It is so strange to me how some of us can live through such drama and trauma and yet loveliness too...sometimes the passing of our lives here just feels so indifferent to the consequences yet we continue to try t0 make sense of it all. Continuing to feel grateful for those we love and share our lives can be the most special and remarkable accomplishment. Success by small measures can count for so much.

I'm still here ~smile~ Actually, have more hair than a month ago, have been scared to my wits end about a month ago, was given from 2 - 6 months to likely keep hanging around BUT Kaplan and my radiologist then uncovered a new radiation treatment (Tomo therapy...only available here in the west for about 6 months.... 20 minutes, 5 days a week, for 3 weeks.) The tough part 0f all of this is that more cancer emerges/presents and we now find that the most effective way to deal with it is to spot treat each break out thus if it presents on my lung, we zap that, if if presents in the brain or spine, we spot zap that too. Really technology is quite remarkable. So far, for me, as well, very mild side effects. What has upset me to the greatest degree is feeling "fuzzy" and not being able to think straight. As many of you know, I could go a life time with throwing a ball or doing any exercise but to be challenged by not reading or writing is nearly heartbreaking. Keeping my thoughts straight as I continue to recover from the radiation is also quite a crazy and frustrating effort but I'm hoping over time some of that "fog" will clear. So, we last met with Kaplan two weeks ago and came through okay until next time. We finished our last Tomo radiation for the spinal tumors   which should take us to our check up in a month and finally we hold our collective breaths for Monday afternoon when we will read the results of the brain scan I had on Friday and move forward from there. Scans are always tough days but when they are done and over with and you realize you can relax for many days on end and just enjoy and be grateful....those are such good moments to savor.

So, though we do likely know where this is ultimately going, we seem to have some more time and an avenue or two still to try a next...A far cry that where I felt we were a month ago. What an amazing capacity for medicine to address so many huge issues!!! And thank goodness, for my hero, Mr. Hank Kaplan.

Thank you all so much for your continued supp0rt. I do love hearing from you and appreciate your patience as I continue to "dip in and out"  as communiques are concerned since working with words is now harder for me and takes me much longer. Email is still the mode of preference as I can take my time and though you may wait awhile for a response, you will get a collective or individual one eventually....I still have my stack to answer from a month hang in there. ~smile~ Still unfortunately text, and phone are hardest to catch us.  Nick is also doing an amazing job keeping up on his blog


Much, much love to you all.
Meagan Anne

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