Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Off to results of MRI

a little tension this morning, even if we know of the possible outcomes. We see Dr. Kaplan at 9am. And then to head to Bakery Nouveau in West Seattle to commiserate or celebrate.

There is other tension too. Walking that fine line between being supportive and clarifying and "correcting" is terribly difficult. I have been reasonably successful. I failed yesterday. Being corrected is no fun, we all know that. Regrettably, Meagan's brain insults have given her poor memory, recall and the ability to articulate what she knows in her head. So not just facts and figures can be off (numbers for sure), but scenarios, explanations, and background discussions in the retelling. I've written before how often I spend going over and over what the process is or what our agenda is or what happened and will happen.

Last night, after she essentially made up some things to support what was in fact a true outcome, I did correct her. I only do this about one in five times, as I know most of the time it doesn't matter. But it was one too many last night, and it triggered a wave of emotion, discussion and tears, which linger this morning. I felt so bad, and feel so bad for her - this incredibly bright woman who has been affected by all the treatments and medications and cancer - to have to deal with the inability to get things clear. I'm just going to do my level best not to correct her anymore - unless it is a life or death issue. Her self-esteem and identity are too fragile and important to mess with by making sure things are factually correct.

I just need to find more patience and zip the lip.

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