It comes out of nowhere sometimes. An innocuous question, a comment, simply planning for the week ahead. I suppose it's a bit like watching a tornado form in front of you and then head toward you - with no escape route or cellar to hide in. The good news is it usually only lasts and hour and a half or so. Then resolve builds, the comforting words sink in, the cognition kicks in a bit better. It really sucks to have to deal with the medications and the resulting swings of emotion, especially when it just falls off the cliff. I feel so bad for Meagan, she wants to understand, but between the stroke, seizures and meds, sometimes it is just hard for her to grasp the possible schedules, options, treatments and comprehend what they might do. So in the repeating and clarifying - it can end up feeling very heavy and negative.
It sorta is. It doesn't mean we can't live each day joyfully and meaningfully. We can and she should make sure that each day she is doing things she loves. Which for her is all about connections and relationships. She won't create a bucket list - I think that's a guy thing. She will focus on her calendar and schedule and making sure each day she is seeing the people she needs to see and doing whatever projects and work that bring her joy. I've told her she never has to shop, pay bills or do laundry again. Wait, she didn't do those things anyway...
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