Monday, July 18, 2011

A Change of Scenery

We had a nice weekend at our place at Decatur Island. Good food (including crab!) and friends and a beautiful full moon on Saturday night/Sunday morning. I'm not sure what time it was in the middle of the night when Meagan woke me up to have me look at it. But it sure looked big!

Kind of a bittersweet weekend though. For one, it was quite a contrast with our Seattle home life - with its chaotic nature; two boys moving back in, construction stalled on one remodel of a boy's bedroom and studio, and Meagan's studio not put to rights yet from her move. Plus all the calls, visits, and appointments. At Decatur it's reassuringly the same. It's exactly the way we want and like it and it's not changing. The scenery - with the view of the Sound, islands and Olympics in the background is solid and enduring (as long as I keep the trees under control), and quite beautiful. It is QUIET - especially at night (except when someone on the far side of the island or over at Lopez has a bit too much to drink and fires off their shotgun  - sound really carries). So lots of time for reading and reflection. It represents the core of what we love, and when we leave it and return to the maelstrom, that is a bit hard.

It's also bittersweet because Meagan is aware of what she will miss, eventually. And we have some memorabilia and art which is very dear to us, and it saddens her that it will not be a part of her. I suppose that is the case for all of us someday - but the immediacy of her condition creates a poignancy which makes viewing those things good and sad.

Lastly, she tried to use the time to write in her journal and finish up a special book of quotes for Casey as she did for Riley. She used to have beautiful penmanship and it is enormously frustrating for her that she cannot do it that way now. She makes mistakes and can't keep on the lines, and it doesn't look as pretty as she wants, and if you know Meagan, you know she likes pretty. I tried to reassure her that it will be recognized for what it is - a labor of love and determination in the face of insults which prevent her from her old means of expression - but something which will be cherished more than if it was written in the finest hand ever, because in this case intent and motivation trump the visuals.

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