Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Water torture

Day 11. It's interesting to observe the effect the duration of the stay has on you. Aside from the accumulated sleep deficit. One aspect I've noticed is how little control you have over your environment. Lights, sounds, people coming and going, and diagnostics and treatment are out of your control. At home you can shut doors, turn off lights and generally adjust the environment to meet your needs. Here, you adjust to the environment. The intrusion becomes debilitating. The other aspect of lack of control is the treatment. The Guardians hold the information and plan and I feel a constant need to be available when one shows up (without notice) to dispense their wisdom. You feel intrusive when you fight to understand and be understood. Plus you wait a lot.

All of this, and more, wears you down. It becomes easy to just go with the flow. But that's not always in the best interest of the patient as it's abundantly clear that within the hospital setting the left hand doesn't always know what the right hand is doing, there are transition and handoff errors, and people and systems don't talk to each other. So you have to fight your urge to acquiesce. And stay on point.

I got a bit of a battery recharge yesterday. Was able to be away for 6 hours. Had to take Daisy to the vet and do some chores around the house. Then had a wonderful dinner with Casey while Riley graciously stayed with Meagan. Steak and fries have a remarkably healing effect and sure beat hospital food!

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