Wednesday, November 2, 2011

"have we said all we need to say?"

I'm expecting this surgery to go well. There are risks. Especially given her condition. So you do kinda have to think about what if it doesn't go well. We are already anticipating an end, with her sights set on making it to her birthday on Jan 23rd. So we have been making sure we've said what needs to be said. It's very strange though. The answer is yes, but no. Yes we've told each other about how much we love each other and what we've meant to each other. So if it ended I wouldn't feel regret for having missed that big opportunity. But said EVERYTHING? Hardly. I am glad our relationship has had a lot of conversation in it. So a lot has already been said. But not enough, with an end in sight. And as I think about it, more and more things pop up. About the past. About the future.

But right here, right now I also have to balance her needs and keeping her emotionally stable, so she can fight the good fight and get through this surgery. By the tear gauge she's heard enough this morning.

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