The anti-seizure and anti-inflammatory drugs Meagan is on have some really nasty side effects. The worst is the effect they have on her mood. She has been unable of late to focus on anything other than the negative aspects of her situation. She doesn't remember or is unable to recall the metaphors or mantras or visualizations she used earlier in the course of the disease, which helped her a lot. She is sensing the worry and sadness from the people she interacts with, and then once the people are gone, melts down. It is a far cry from the almost ebullient mood she was in post-stroke.
Needless to say that makes the cabana boy job really challenging. It's one thing to have to do all the medication management, and all the other things, it's quite another to have to be ready for the two to three emotional meltdowns each day. I have a lot of mascara on my shirt at the end of the day.
We visit Kaplan today - I'm hoping she can start tapering off the steroids, which seem to be the worst culprit even though their medical properties are incredibly useful.
To top it all off, Casey and I have been throwing the baseball around out in front of our house - which is a lot of fun. Unfortunately, it's taking a while for my arm to get used to this and each time out it's been a bit sore and takes a while to warm up. It will get better as my muscles get used to this. But in the meantime my throws can be somewhat errant. I tossed him a relatively gentle and low "pop up" yesterday, but it veered a little left. And landed on a neighbor's car rear window in the precise location which allowed the whole rear window to shatter. When it rains it pours. So from now on we walk to the park to play catch.
Wear black shirts. The car window incident is almost comical though. Hang in there.
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